Man, the foolish

I wake up…pain in the head….throbbing in the temples….eyes tired and refusing to open. It takes 15 minutes and a cup of black coffee….not very hot….and a song “A Day in life” by Beatles to get in terms with the new day of the calendar. Sluggish and sordid….legs jammed and cramped…..a bit of stretching, and I can walk again with manageable restrain binding me. This was the way I woke up for 5 years and dragged myself in life.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am not a moron. I have actually moved so much beyond that word that I can explain you the metaphysics behind a moron and a vibrant being. But, let’s reserve that for another bright day.  With 23 years lived in the room with minimal light, doors closed and absolutely no human contact, I am the bitter feeling you detest in your life. From Kafka’s Metamorphosis to Dostoevsky’s Notes from the Underground, I am the story of resentment and rejection and in that way, I am also your truth that you casually refuse to look. How many times were you rejected by friends, family and yourself in life? Well, if the count is nil (improbable though) I request you to stop reading and continue with the plebian tasks in which you find your gratification.

I sit in a nearby coffee shop, reading and see all sorts of product of reckless, uneducated and toxic youth around me. They disgust the air I breathe but you see, I am a tolerant being. I tolerate their imbecile attempts to make their body appealing by wearing different mutations of apparels and I tolerate their ridiculous experiments with hair and beard. Now, they walk with a confidence fabricated by their tiny mind’s illusion and now, they have the pseudo composure to walk with a sense of identity and belongingness. A dog on the street is free, they are bonded with their clothes, hairstyles and possessed by the virulent thought of if the opposite gender they are accompanying is absolutely mesmerized by their presence and appearance. Such hollowness, is heavenly, is divine! For both heaven and divine are hollow and dead things. These miniscule rodents disgrace the existence that’s constantly trying to teach them so much.

Now, gentlemen, if you are one of those beings, then you are going to get rattled by what I write. We share something mutual- you laugh at me and I ridicule you. But, you are a crowd and I am a solitary being and by virtue, crowd is foolish. When was the last time you laughed on the idiosyncrasy of a seemingly introverted fellow, who looks to you a little out of sorts? Why did you laugh? Because, he was out of your code, that rigid, blinded code of yours, by which you judge after seeing with your malfunctioning microscopic eye. You don’t even realize in the process that you don’t even identify yourself with your retina.

I wonder if you have become the excretion of man’s anxiety of centuries of coming to terms with his body and mind that constantly adventures in garbage. No, I don’t deny the beauty of man. I deny the singularity…..duality, inconsistency is man’s nature. Beauty and disgrace is carried by him simultaneously. 

But, how will you know? You are busy being played by your hormones. That girl you fascinated about last time, it was nothing but a mischievous hormonal play. You will run away with hands on your mouth if that hormone is poured in a glass to make you smell it. The fascination you branded as beauty but the source of that fascination became a disgust to you. What a comical fool man is!

Your imbecility can be tolerated but what’s disturbing is the arrogance, the narcissism you associate it with.  How to save someone when he denies the existence of Sun and moon? But, then destruction is as constructive as creation. In this despair, anguish you have been put into, try to look for that one moment when existence holds your hand. When it makes you stop and wonder, that everything around is in silence, in harmony…..the trees, birds flying or the white clouds or the fragrance of flowers around you but man is in total chaos with his vehicles and his incessant hurry. No other being is running and postponing life to achieve some purpose other than man. But, man has gone crazy with goals. Not understanding that life was a gift and a gift has no other purpose but joy.  A tree has no purpose. A rose has no goal. A bird is in total joy whereas you are not even present with the tea you drink. Your mind has already travelled some place else while the cup of tea drinks itself in loneliness. There was a time when I ran like all others but then I stopped and what you call my stagnation, I call my evolution. Why to run but not drift like a cloud does with the wind? Why plan and kill one with the planning when the totality of existence has different or may be similar plan and eventually, that’s the path one is going to travel. Mind you,  I am not for inaction but for action that is done without postponing the life that is here-now. I am for the being inconsistent and contradictory. The weather contradicts itself with heat, chill, rain and dryness all the time and yet you hold to the fragmented morals of consistency in thought and action. That's idiotic! 

I wrote to disturb you. You will stop and think when you are disturbed. If you don’t, then don’t be harsh on yourself. It is going to take time, you have stopped thinking with an open mind for a long, long time and inertia will pull you back.